Connect, don´t hold
Anyone who learns Tango Argentino in Munich will sooner or later hear a sentence like:
“Tango is walking in the embrace.”
That sounds beautiful – but it doesn’t really help at first. Because the real question is: How does a good tango embrace actually come into being?
The embrace in tango is much more than the position of the arms. It is a system of connection, communication, and mutual listening. When it works, the dance feels effortless. When it doesn’t, even the simplest step becomes complicated.
In our Tango Argentino private lessons in Munich at Tango genial, we therefore work a lot on exactly this topic: How can we create an embrace that allows closeness without restricting movement, and communication without pushing?
Three Forms of the Tango Embrace
Many discussions in tango revolve around a seemingly decisive question:
close embrace or open embrace?
In reality, there are countless possibilities, because every person is different. But let’s look at these three basic forms:
The Close Embrace
In the close embrace the upper bodies clearly touch. In many steps, the partners’ axes become interdependent during movement. It is often associated with the so-called Milonguero style and creates a very immediate form of connection and communication.
The advantage is obvious: the lead can become extremely subtle because movements of the torso are transmitted directly.
However, the disadvantage quickly becomes visible when one tries to dance more complex movements. Strongly rotated pivots – especially in forward ochos or turns – simply need space. If the follower’s torso is pressed firmly against the leader’s, this movement becomes anatomically difficult – in fact, anatomically impossible.
After all, we are Homo sapiens and not owls – our bodies cannot rotate endlessly. How should I open my hips 90° or more while my leader presses my upper body tightly against him? Probably only with a slipped disc afterwards… no thanks.
The Open Embrace
The open embrace creates more space between the bodies. This makes turns, pivots, and larger movements much easier.
Many figures such as ochos, media luna, moulinette, paradas, or salida americana work much better in an open embrace.
The Closed but Not Tight Embrace
Between these two poles lies a form that is often underestimated in tango – or perhaps simply not yet fully understood: a closed embrace with body contact that still leaves room.
The upper bodies remain connected, close contact is maintained, and especially while walking the partners’ axes depend on one another. But the arms remain flexible enough to allow movement. This is often where the most comfortable tango emerges: closeness without pressure, contact without restriction.
A Common Mistake Many Leaders Make
Many leaders mentally commit themselves to a specific embrace.
“I only dance milonguero.”
“Real tango can only be danced in close embrace.”
Like stubborn little children: “But I want it this way!”
Fixating on the close embrace can actually be very limiting. The problem arises when one tries to lead movements that simply do not fit the chosen embrace – either anatomically impossible or at least quite uncomfortable.
If someone dances in a close embrace while trying to lead strongly rotated pivots for forward ochos, paradas, or moulinettes, conflicts inevitably arise in the follower’s body. The follower simply cannot rotate when the upper body is fixed.
The solution is surprisingly simple: either adapt the choice of steps (there is a reason the term giro milonguero exists…) or allow the embrace a little more space at certain moments.
Often a slightly softer right arm is already enough for the follower to rotate comfortably in movements such as a moulinette or media luna. It’s really that simple… you just have to overcome your pride. If you insist on dancing milonguero style – then do it properly.
Two Typical Mistakes Many Followers Make
Problems in the embrace also arise on the follower’s side.
Mistake 1: Too Much Tension in the Right Arm
Many students hear in class: “Keep tension in the arm.”
Unfortunately, that is a very imprecise instruction.
In tango it is not about tension but about response. The arm reacts to the energy of the lead – its direction, amount, and dynamics.
If you are constantly “talking” yourself (meaning keeping the right arm under constant unnecessary tension), you cannot really listen.
A word about pushing: my recommendation is not to push back, unless the movement is exceptionally dynamic – which on a social dance floor should rarely be the case. Pushing destroys subtle communication, disrupts your axis, and frankly feels quite unpleasant. Who enjoys being shoved around? I certainly don’t. And since men generally have more strength, it is usually the women who end up with shoulder pain.
Therefore the most important rule is: the right arm should remain relaxed, present, and responsive.
Relaxed does not mean limp. The elbow stays loose, and the hand remains alive.
BUT of course, we need to compensate for this somehow:
Mistake 2: The Left Arm Is Forgotten
Many followers simply place their left arm somewhere on the leader’s back and leave it there lifelessly for the entire tango.
Yet the left arm is an incredibly important tool for connection and orientation.
For example: during a backward ocho to the follower’s left, the leader’s right shoulder opens slightly backward (assuming he leads correctly). The follower can support this movement by gently drawing herself closer with her left hand.
Not by pushing away with the right hand – but by intelligently using the left.
Of course, this only works if the direction of movement matches. If the leader turns to the left or walks forward, pulling on his back would be counterproductive.
As so often in tango: it may sound complicated, but it is actually very logical.
Tango Is Body Language
The embrace in tango is not a rigid system. It constantly changes depending on music, movement, and situation.
A good embrace emerges when both partners are willing to listen – not only with their ears, but with their bodies.
Then something happens that many dancers are searching for: genuine connection, clear communication, and a dance that feels alive.
Learning the Tango Embrace in Munich
In our Tango Argentino lessons in Munich at Tango genial, we regularly work on exactly these topics.
If you want to truly understand the embrace, you can also book my Wow-Embrace private lesson bundle. In these sessions we look closely at how connection, communication, and technique interact.
Because a good embrace is not a coincidence. It is a skill.
And when it works, suddenly the whole tango changes.